My friend Steve pointed me this morning to a site brought to you by the nice folks at Perrier called Show Me Sexier. You get to the site and there’s this cute animated cartoon about a guy choosing an aftershave (I thought people stopped doing that in the 70’s) and sprinkling himself with Perrier and getting extra “sexy”. No problem though, the Perrier folks are clearly trying to tell me something new about their brand. I’m open-minded so I click along.

Then I arrive at their home page. Also filled with flash and i get a choice of being Healthier, Sexier, Crazier, or Riskier. Each category is rendered as a riff on the Perrier logo. Note: at this point I still have no idea what this site does.

There’s also a list down the side of “your top picks”. OK. I click on a category and am taken to a YouTube page wrapped with a Perrier header and footer that let me — get this — rate the video and comment on it. I am not shitting you. I click the logo in the upper left hand corner and it serves up another site (blog post, youtube video, etc.) that someone has submitted to Perrier and their crack editorial team has allowed through.

I’m kind of bewildered at this point in my experience but luckily there’s a link in the bottom left hand corner called “What’s going on here”. Given that this was EXACTLY the question on my mind I had to click it. I figured, there’s no way that Perrier would have spent all this money and effort on a site that lets users submit links (to be viewed between the Perrier branded frames) to their editorial staff who then decides which ones to publish so that said users can rate and comment on them. There’s no way Perrier would have spent money on creating a site that did that because, um, there are tons of sites that do it way better (like why would I rate and comment on a YouTube video on Perrier’s site when I can do it on… YouTube). Guess what, that’s exactly what the site is. Was there nobody at Nestle (Perrier’s parent company) or the agencies that Perrier worked with who said… “uh guys, I love that you want to redefine your brand and have a major interactive component, but let’s come up with an idea that’s at least semi-original or at least marginally interesting.” Unfortunately i want Perrier to “Show me Better” than this site. (OK. Lame joke. It’s like I was trying to be the web’s Gene Shalit. Sorry.)

I will take a moment now to reaffirm my belief that I have no idea what will be successful and what won’t. I don’t claim to have any predictive power. That said, I do believe you can increase your odds slightly by a) being aware of what’s out there, and b) offering a unique perspective. Not only is this site not unique, it’s poorly done.

You spend five minutes traipsing through their opening video and intro screen with the big floating animated (sometimes blurry, sometimes in focus) category buttons. When you finally get to one of the sites they recommend, try hitting the back button. You get this little gem:

You clicked on a link that will take you away from the Perrier experience. Please select one of the following options:

1. To remain in the perrier experience, click the “Go Again” button on the upper left corner of this screen (you will be served a new site).
2. Copy and paste the link below in a new browser window to go back to the last tumbled site.
3. Close this window to end your Perrier Experience.

http://www.showmesexier.com/content/default.aspx?categoryid
=4&siteid=ef4ae0d0-c6a2-4ade-b3a7-08398e5a8423

Please note: You got to this page by clicking on a non-conforming link. If you wish to follow this link, follow step two above to get back to your last tumbled site, locate the link, right click, then select “load in a new Window” or “load in a new tab”.

Huh? A “non-conforming link”? Guess what, if I even type their URL or ANY URL into my browser at this point I get this message. They’ve broken the address bar. And, to add insult to injury, if you want to be a good citizen of Perrier country and just go back to the sites they recommend the forward button is busted too. In fairness, after further investigation they only break your browser when using Firefox. On IE the experience is just as offensive but less confusing. In IE they warn you that you’re leaving the confines of Perrier greatness with a popup window just in case you weren’t sure you wanted to leave. Clearly you made a mistake when you spent all that time typing a new URL into your address bar trying to get away from their site.

It’s not only that the site is poorly conceived and executed, it’s just trying way too hard. For example, they claim the comments will also be screened meticulously by the Perrier editorial team: “The comments are filtered by Perrier USA. There should be no attempt at writing something offensive or off-color. It won’t get through. Period.” I love that warning. It’s like a stern but loving parental tone. I love the English too. There “should be no attempt”. It sounds almost like wishful thinking. Go to their legal disclaimer if you want more “trying-to-be-cool” yet uncool verbiage.

And finally, I’ll admit, I’m not up-to-speed on how Perrier is trying to position their brand. If I go to their main website it certainly is trying to project younger, hipper, etc. But this site they’ve created is so off-base in so many dimensions I cannot help but feel it will turn off their desired demographic.

I’m in a bit of a quandary as I am super excited and supportive of marketing executives who realize that software is an incredible vehicle for brand advertising messages. And not only did the folks at Perrier not make some lame 2 minute throwaway game they actually tried to make a site that did something. Kudos for that. Unfortunately that’s where their positive efforts end. I admit, it’s early in this area of advertising so missteps are to be expected. At the very least Show Me Sexier can serve as an example of how not to create Branded Software Experiences on the web. I hope the folks at Perrier don’t give up and try for round two with a more solid concept and way better execution.